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  • August 2012
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What If Kim Kardashian Was in a Dystopian Teen Novel?

In a world where 46.2 million Americans live in poverty, it’s strange to consider people like Kim Kardashian are real human beings, and not simply an industrial byproduct of the fame factory.

When you think about it, she makes millions of dollars for letting people film her being rich. And nearly 16 million people (of which I am one) choose to watch her flush money down the toilet on Twitter.

But what if tomorrow, the cloud of money and fame disintegrated, along with the rest of society, and she came crashing down back to Earth?

Meet my creation, Kim Dystopiashian.

Kim Dystopiashian relaxes after Los Angeles is turned to rubble and society is reduced to scavenging.

With her prior life in tatters Kim Dystopiashian has wandered into some of your favorite YA dystopian novels and is tweeting from inside of them, trying to maintain her lifestyle as best she can.

Here she is from inside Suzanne Collins’s The Hunger Games, after hiding in a tree to avoid an attack by the tributes of District 4.

She then gets boxed up and thrown into the maze of James Dashner’s The Maze Runner, after encountering one of the Gladers who was killed by a griever attack.

She then escapes and starts wandering the war and plague-torn streets of America in Jeff Hirsch’s Eleventh Plague, only to narrowly escape a group of bandits and find shelter in a creepy gated community.

After the community collapses, she is forced to join a roving band of misfits in Jo Treggiari’s Ashes, Ashes. But once the Sweepers arrive, she needs to call someone quick. What can she do?

Finally, Kim Kardashian finds herself in a future Chicago, in the perfect world of Veronica Roth’s Divergent where everything–and everyone–has its place. She chose the faction Erudite and was given her own talk show. However, now safe, her friends might not be so lucky…

~Joseph
Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh, Main

2 Responses

  1. This is the best. I wish celebrities would use the phrase “feebled beam” more often.

  2. Incredible. No spray tans in the bleak post-apocalypse, but I’m sure she’d be welcomed into District 1. haha

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